The Word of the Day is Missing

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30 thoughts on “MISSING

  1. Reblogged this on MLM Opinions' Journey and commented:

    The relationship you have or form is with your family, so when you are unable to form that personal connection with most of them; your future relationships will always fall short.

    A lot of us with damaged pasts have a hard time making and keeping relationships with others; whether it’s a lover, coworker, or friend. There is some element that is missing and is preventing you from forming genuine connections with others.

    I always find a way to push people away. I have been let down and hurt by almost everyone I come across, that I automatically keep those in my life at a distance in case they aren’t who they portray to be I won’t be too let down when their true nature comes out. The wall I have built is the perfect safety net for me.

    As I wrote in “The Letter To My Sister,” the damage left an invisible scare inside of that’s trying to find a way to heal. The scar left by someone who you should be able to trust unconditionally is almost unrepairable.

    The missing element, for me, is trust.

    I have had a lot of let downs that has made me skeptical and untrusting of others, but they weren’t who let me down the most. I was. I lost the trust I have in myself. I forgot or never developed any love for myself. If I can’t trust myself, then I can’t depend on anyone else. When you suffer from a painful experience on several occasions, you begin to blame yourself.

    It’s easy to lay self-blame you are wronged continuously. I began to think the problem was me. I was doing something to deserve all that came, so I figured everyone that came along would see that side that triggered everyone else and turn on me as well.

    I have to learn it’s ok to let others in. I have to learn that my past is in the past and I can’t allowing it to drag me down. Hurt people hurt people and I don’t want to make someone pay that price of a crime committed by another’s hand.

    I try and let go through journaling so that I am able to form healthy relationships.

    Liked by 1 person

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